i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
