K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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