if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
