And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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