Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
How's work?
Spinning.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
And then he peed in my hair
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize