at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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