i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
