My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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