so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize