You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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