Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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