i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
