I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
