i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
