I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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