two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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