I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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