Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
