WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
