North Korea, Best Korea!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
