we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
