we're blogging at a bar
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
