So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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