I just cut my nipple shaving
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
