i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
