It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
