can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
