Dual....:-)
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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