IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
