I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
