This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
