capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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