Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
