i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
