Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
