look no pants
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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