Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
