Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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