halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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