What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
