i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
