Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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