You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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