Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
