I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
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We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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