took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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