I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
