think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
