My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We need to rekindle our bromance
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
