sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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