Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
