'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
