If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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