Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
