youre lurking in front of me
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
