I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
