But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
