You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize