I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Your cock deserves a montage
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Randomize
