I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
