Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
