90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Terrible idea I love it
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